The holidays are often a time for creating new memories and continuing cherished traditions. Being with loved ones can create a sense of joy and togetherness, but it can also create some unique challenges. Balancing the holiday festivities with the needs of a person with dementia requires communication, planning, and patience.
First, it is important to have a better understanding of why the holidays can be challenging for people with dementia. Often, there is some anxiety and embarrassment with the cognitive changes. A person might feel embarrassed for forgetting a loved one’s name or some anxiety surrounding a change in routine. There also might be some discomfort or irritation with the inability to follow conversation, participate in traditions, or keep up with holiday activities. That being said, there are often feelings of being overwhelmed, anxiousness, and guilt for the caregiver when situations like this may arise. The holidays can amplify these emotions, but by recognizing these challenges and planning accordingly, it is possible to create a holiday experience that prioritizes comfort and meaningful moments.
With the holidays, many families value tradition and consistency each holiday season. When a family has a person who has been diagnosed with cognitive changes, traditions may need to be adapted to accommodate for the loved one’s comfort. By simplifying decorations, choosing quieter and smaller gathering sizes, and focusing primarily on familiar activities that spark joy, simple adjustments can ensure a less stressful holiday season. It is important to keep up on activities that are enjoyed, but it is also okay to create some new norms. Maybe this year instead of a big fancy meal, everyone brings over an appetizer to share. Or celebrate the holidays over the lunch hour as opposed to an evening meal to avoid evening confusion (sundowning) if that has been a challenge in the past. Name tags are also a helpful addition to holiday celebrations as they can ease the anxiety of forgetting names and help everyone feel more comfortable engaging in conversation. Above all, communicating with friends and family with whom you might share the holidays is essential so that they are aware of the situation and are able to assist in creating a supportive environment.
In order to ease the transition into holiday festivities, it is important to get people with dementia involved in some of the holiday set up and activities. There are many ways to get these individuals involved, but it ultimately is determined by your personal schedule and traditions they might be used to. For example, maybe it is a tradition to decorate the house or make all the food for the holiday meal. This year, maybe going for a drive to look at lights or making one batch of cookies instead of the entire meal can help cherish the traditions without causing overwhelm or stress. Finding simpler, more manageable ways to involve your loved ones allows them to feel included and valued, while respecting their current abilities and energy levels.
The holidays are a time to be thankful and spend time with loved ones. Caregiving is a labor of love that can come with some challenges, but it also offers opportunities for connection and meaningful moments. During the holidays, focus on what truly matters: the joy of being together, even if things may look a bit different than normal. By adapting traditions and prioritizing the well-being of both your loved one and yourself, you can create a holiday season filled warmth, love, and cherished memories.
If you feel the need to talk with someone or feel that you need additional support in navigating the next steps of your journey or that of your loved one, the Center offers individual caregiver consultations, family meetings, and subsequent resources and support. Please contact the Center at 952-929-1698 or info@normandalecenter.org.
Happy holidays and a happy new year!
Lauren Glas, OTS
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