Family caregiving typically falls under two categories, the primary caregiver (typically being the spouse) and the secondary caregiver (typically being a child). The most common caregiver is an adult daughter. 53 million adults in the United States serve as informal caregivers and 16.1 million Americans care for people living with dementia.
Many families wait for emergencies to occur prior to discussing end-of-life issues. There is a large impact of caregiving on an individual from emotional distress, to physical demands, financial strains, family dynamics, and more. There is rarely balance when splitting up caregiving responsibilities within families; typically one person in the family carries the heaviest load. 1 out of 4 individuals report intense conflict in at least one area among the family related to caregiving.
Dr. Lakelyn Eichenberger, Gerontologist & Caregiving Advocate talks about the five hot-button issues that often result in an increase in family conflict/arguments and disagreements. The five topics related to the care recipient include: their health, finances related to caregiving, care recipient independence, distance (location of family members from the care recipient), and boundaries (between the caregiver and care recipient).
Dr. Eichenberger also provides tips on how to effectively manage conflict among changing family dynamics. Scheduling regular family meetings to have the whole family present and focus on the aging adults needs and current issue/situation is important, as well as involving the aging adult as able, so the family can better understand their goals. Remember that family members will have different opinions, ideas, and perspectives; respecting each other's ideas, keeping communication open, and setting boundaries will help decrease the likelihood of increased conflict and disagreement. Lastly, ask for help when needed (i.e. community resources, home care services, family therapy, elder law attorney, etc.).
Normandale Center for Healing & Wholeness offers support services to caregivers and their care receivers. We can assist with navigating family dynamics and difficult conversations as well as facilitate a discussion for future planning with your care recipient. Visit the Normandale Center for Healing & Wholeness website to learn more about the education topics, support groups, and care consultation services we can provide to your family during the transition of caring for an aging family member.