A 25th Anniversary Remembrance by Maria Klein

When Fred, my husband of 40-plus years, received a diagnosis of dementia, I quickly decided that I wanted some help. My resourceful daughter found the Normandale Center for Healing & Wholeness, and I promptly made an appointment, developed a care plan, joined support sessions and attended workshops.

This experience was invaluable - indispensable! Thanks to the Center’s staff, presenters, and fellow caregivers, I learned so much. (The brain processes music in six places? Just try to describe how to brush your teeth!) I learned more about Fred’s illness and about the importance of caregiver self-care. As my understanding increased, so did my compassion and patience – and my ability to care for Fred with greater kindness.

Hearing stories from other caregivers was especially helpful as I soon realized that his – our - situation was relatively mild and manageable. Unlike so many with dementia, Fred was not undergoing a significant personality change; he was still himself and not unhappy. As Fred’s abilities faded away, the scope of our lives just slowly shrank, and I learned to live in limbo. Our quality of life diminished, but it was not shredded. We were calm and relatively stable and had found a kind of rhythm and harmony.

And then Covid struck, and we suddenly found ourselves isolated: Dementia overlaid with Covid kept family and friends at a distance. But the Normandale Center for Healing & Wholeness was not to be deterred! The staff pivoted and soon we were meeting online. Not as good as fellowship in person, of course, but online sessions opened the door for people to attend from farther-flung locations. Together we learned to make it work.

Fred was diagnosed with cancer in February 2020 and passed away peacefully a year later, surrounded by family. I will always be grateful to the kind, caring and dedicated community of support at Normandale Center for Healing & Wholeness – and offer my heartfelt congratulations on this 25th anniversary!